Tom Brady Birth Certificate

Tom Brady’s Birth Certificate is a Forgery!

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Tom Brady is playing far too well at age 39. No NFL player in the league’s history has played this well at age 39. I raised a concern back in October 2016 that if Brady continues to play at a high level, I would launch a Brady-birther movement and demand to see his birth certificate. After much resistance, I finally procured a copy and can prove its a forgery! Tom Brady is only 37 years old!

What gives it away for Brady isn’t just the birth certificate which we’ll discuss later. Only a small handful of quarterbacks played at a high level at age 38, otherwise most by them are total losers. Those who played well at age 38 include Roger Staubach, John Elway, and Brett Favre. Peyton Manning doesn’t make this list because his skills began to drop mid-season of 2015, at age 38. Joe Montana turned in a lackluster year at age 38 in KC. Other greats such as Dan Marino and Jim Kelly were toast by age 37.  Now if you look at the two groups of older players, those playing at a high level in their codger years (Staubach, Elway), and those who didn’t (Marino, Kelly, and a host of others), one important thing separates them – Athleticism. Tom Brady is a smart, effective quarterback, but no one would ever mistake him for being a “great athlete”. So something has to give. I suspected maybe it was his Biblical-esque diet. But now we have the real answer.

Tom Brady Birth Certificate

After in-depth research we have uncovered the birth certificate of Tom Brady! In this research we fortuitously also discovered the birth certificate of none other than actress Evangeline Lilly, who also happened to be born on the exact same day as Tom Brady. Note the similarities in birth certificates. Most telling is the obvious forgery of Brady’s birth date. As you can clearly see, there is a faint ‘9’ beneath the superimposed ‘7’. Notice the faint ‘9’ is an exact match of the font for ‘9’ on both certificates. This is irrefutable evidence of a forgery! But there’s more. Also revealing is that Ms. Lilly’s sequence number is only one less than Brady’s! Also of note is the same birth doctor, HL Compton, MD. Tom Brady was clearly born in 1979 folks!

Brady Birth Certificate

Note the similarity in birth certificates and the obvious forgery. A ‘9’ can clearly be seen beneath the ‘7’.

The Fallout

Now the question is, when will Brady come clean? There are already rumors that Brady has destroyed his latest cell phone.  He has also been seen signing memorabilia for Evangeline Lilly, and for the hospital staff in San Mateo California, his birthplace. The infamous doctor HL Compton listed on the birth certificate was also seen on TV foolishly bragging about the footballs and full-size Tom Brady poster that were personally signed by the Patriots QB. Why would Brady be signing footballs for a retired doctor, a has-been actress, and a bunch of old nurses?

Bill Belichick is in full damage control, since there is deep suspicion he may have played a role in the birth certificate forgery. When pressed on this issue, he continually replied that the Patriots are focused on their next opponent. “We’re on to Atlanta”, he said.

Pressure is also mounting from Roger Goodell, who is threatening Brady with an 8 game suspension to start the 2017 season. This could all be moot as there is growing talk of a pardon from Donald J Trump that will exonerate Brady from deflate-gate and this latest scandal, Brady-birther-gate.

Barring a pardon from the President-elect, there is a growing chorus in the media that believe a 2 year suspension is better suited to punish Brady, so that Brady will really be 39 when he can play again. Then we’ll see how well he plays! In the words of Brady’s fellow New Englander Howard Dean, “Yeah!

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18 thoughts on “Tom Brady’s Birth Certificate is a Forgery!

  1. You should feel like an idiot for posting this. Let the man play and stop trying to hurt him with false and baseless accusations. Scum

    • I’m not going either way because I don’t know for sure. I’m just curious how u know for SURE this is false and baseless??? Is he trying to hurt him? However, if the above statements are true, then I guess everyone that doesn’t believe it will be in ur words, “scum”. I don’t think anyone is scum, however. But u cannot avoid the fact that the Patriots aren’t considered the most honest team in the league. Really I could care less about them, but love fun facts and am curious about where u got ur info from. Thank you.

  2. Hey Fred, I cannot believe your conspiracy theory! Tom Brady is not 39 because he is playing so well. Couldn’t you come up with something better? Come on man! You are Brady and Patriots hater. Back in August, you posted another article “Tom Brady is going to suck this year.” You were prediction with 95% of chance that Brady is going to fall off the cliff. You were saying back then, “There is no way 39 years old Bray can play a good football.” You did not know back then that Brady is not 39 years old? Now that you were completely wrong then, you came up with this nonsense.
    I cannot believe people like you come up with this kind of stuff. What will be your next conspiracy? “Tom Brady is not real man. He is a robot. When he gets injured, Belichick just replaces his chips.” I won’t be surprised if Patriots haters like you come with that. 🙂
    One more thing, I noticed that you posted Brady’s picture with Trump. Why did you do that? What Trump has to do with Brady’s age? I can tell that you are also Trump hater. Brady, Belichick and Trump are friends. And they all are winners. They are all Patriots. Trump is a patriot because he puts America first. Crazy liberals like you also came up with numerous conspiracy theories. “Election fraud, Russians helped Trump to win. Blah, blah, blah…” They never admit that their crooked candidate was a fraud and criminal. Ant, thank god, American people rejected her.
    Fred, just be a gentleman. Win like a gentleman, and lose like a gentleman. Just give a credit to Belichick and Brady, and stop coming up with this nonsense.

    • George, I’m as far from liberal as you can get! So please read the ENTIRE blog, you then might find the satire. 🙂

      BTW, you are right about one thing. Like the vast majority in the country I do indeed hate NE Patriots. But I don’t hate Brady. I just think he’s not the best ever, and therefore overrated. I thought the same thing of Joe Montana when people thought he was the best ever. Like Brady I really like Montana, but like Brady he heavily benefited by those around him.

      Fred

  3. OK Fred. Hopefully, Brady wins SB LI in two weeks, and you will change your mind. 🙂
    I disagree with you that Brady heavily benefited by those around him. Brady never had a superb talent ( Antonio Browns, Julio Jones of the world) around him except Randy Moss in 2007 and you know what he accomplished that year. I agree with you that he had the best coach in sport around him. But it’s a topic for another discussion who made whom great? Did Belichick made Brady great or Brady made Belichick great? Before Brady nobody knew who Belichick was.
    Go Patriots! Brady – GOAT. 🙂

    • I won’t change my mind. 🙂 Don’t get me wrong, Brady is a great QB who would have made any team a contender, I put him in the top 10 all-time. That makes him pretty great in my eyes. However, he’s not the greatest ever. QBs I put above him include Elway, Stauback, Unitas, Montana, and yes, Manning. You are right that Brady generally did not have great talent around him, but coaching more than made up for it. Also playing in a division that never in his entire career had a franchise caliber QB to compete with sure didn’t hurt. They were almost a shoe-in every year to win the AFC East and at least a bye week going into the post-season. Brady was super lucky in this regard. I also think its pretty obvious that Brady and Belichick benefited each other. Without Brady, the Pats did just fine, in fact as you know the season Brady missed the Pats still win 11 games. And guess what, it caused Matt Cassell to become super overrated! You then saw what happened the first 3 games this season, including one win with a 3rd string QB. Brady’s 1st Super Bowl win had much more to do with the team than him, in fact if you recall it was Bledsoe who won the AFC championship game. You take Elway or Manning off their team for a season and you see a completely different result, especially Manning given the average coaching he was saddled with (as much as I personally like Dungy, he was an average NFL head coach at best). Brady is a great QB who happened to be blessed with probably the best NFL coach ever, and why people will invariably overrate him.

      Go Falcons! 🙂

      Fred

  4. Fred,
    I understand everybody has own opinion who are the best NFL QBs. However, facts speak for themselves. Numbers don’t lie. I will take a time and compare Brady to 3 other QBs (Montana, P. Manning, Elway) whom you consider better than Brady. Here are some Super Bowl stats:
    Montana
    Super Bowl appearances – 4
    Passing Yards – 1142
    Passing TDs – 11
    Passing INTs – 0
    Passer Rating – 127.8

    Elway
    Super Bowl appearances – 5
    Passing Yards – 1128
    Passing TDs – 3
    Passing INTs – 8
    Passer Rating – 59.3

    P. Manning
    Super Bowl appearances – 4
    Passing Yards – 1001
    Passing TDs – 3
    Passing INTs – 5
    Passer Rating – 77.4

    Brady (Not including SB 51)
    Super Bowl appearances – 6
    Passing Yards – 1605
    Passing TDs – 13
    Passing INTs – 4
    Passer Rating – 95.3

    Results speak for themselves. Maybe you can make an argument who is better between Brady and Montana. However, Manning’s and Elway’s statistics don’t even come close.
    Collective opinion out there is that Brady and Montana are top two QBs with slight edge for Brady. However, if Brady wins SB 51 on February 5th, there will be no more discussion even between Brady and Montana. Unequivocally, Brady will be the best QB ever played. Not to mention, there will be a must watch TV how Goodell hands trophy to Brady after deflategate saga. 😉 Tom Brady is on a revenge tour.

    • Yeah, so it all just comes down to the stats? So Brady has the same numbers if he gets stuck with a bad owner in Detroit and Wayne Fonts as his coach? Going just by stats would also make Dave Krieg one of the all-time greats. My guess is you don’t even remember who he was. 🙂

      This goes back to my blog on the Manning – Brady comparison. As you saw I don’t deny Brady’s greatness, I just don’t buy him as best QB ever. If GMs were given the opportunity to draft a team from scratch from the players in NFL history, Brady probably is around the 5th QB taken. Why? What is going to linger in everyone’s mind is just how well New England did without Brady. Everyone will think back to that 11-5 season that Brady missed. They’ll think of this year when he missed the first 4 games and won all their games with their 2nd string QB. You can’t say the same for Manning (2 wins the year he missed), or Elway (6 wins the year following retirement, and last place in the 5 team AFC West). Elway is underrated in post season play because of the Super Bowl loses. But he never did anything in those losses that cost them the win. Only the 49ers game, when he had the flu, did he actually play bad. Brady has far more bad post season games but everyone forgets about them. On this website that lists his 7 worst games, 4 are post-season. It doesn’t include the year he lost in Denver when he threw the 99 yard INT return to Champ Bailey. This is what happens when you have a team that is great year in and year out. You can still win without great QB play. Denver only had a chance because they had Elway, and didn’t win a Super Bowl until he had talent around him.

      There will always be those of us who think past the bias and the stats. 🙂 🙂

      PS. If New England wins, I WILL DEFINITELY ENJOY watching Brady take the trophy from Gooodell. Its the one universal thing we all agree on – Goodell is the worst NFL Commissioner by far, ever. I can’t believe the owners haven’t rallied to get rid of that clown.

  5. On Shaq:Why is this guy routinely referred to as funny, intelligent and sympathetic?Does he come across that way to all of you?I know he often tells jokes, but that doesnt make someone funny. I find him arrogant, self-centred and his comments often seem dim-witted and stupid.Maybe it has to do with me not being American… I dont know.

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